Monday, March 24, 2008

Sin city colosseum

This is a fanfiction based on the character Marv form Sin City as a Roman gladiator



The Colosseum.

A lone warrior stands in its centre.

The crowds screaming his name.

He looks up at all the kill thirsty fans turning to see the whole crowd there chants make his blood pump with excitement for the battle to come.

Then the challenger's door to the arena opens 5 men not nearly as big as he enter, some with axes, some with swords, some with spears, all look pale and terrified of facing the most fearsome and blood thirsty killer the Colosseum has ever seen.

A tiny smile creeps across his face as the men approach him carefully, slowly making a circle around him thinking they have a better chance of survival,

But in the back of their minds they know as he does everyone of them will die under the deafening sound of the crowd chanting his name.....

Marvian.... Marvian..... Marvian..... Marvian.... Marvian....

As Marv stands there basking in the crowd's crooning he thinks to himself "always hated that name always preferred Marv, If they are gonna shout my name at least they could get it right".

Then in a blink of an eye the battle begins.

The nervous young gladiator directly to Marv's 6 o'clock gives a feeble war cry and rushes in to attack Marv with his back turned.

It was a foolish mistake and the last one that this young man will ever make, with his own voice blaring in his ears the young man thrusts his spear aiming for the back of Marv's head.

It almost hits mark, Marv turns just time to deflect the spear blow with his shield, and in one swift movement splits the man in two, his massive double bladed axe slices the young man right down the middle like a hot knife though butter.

The crowd goes wild.

Marv thinks to himself "that was close, don't have time to be daydreaming listening to the crowd, maybe I'm gettin a lil cocky".

Four are left now, the hasty actions of the first man make the rest of the gladiators revise the situation they are in, they start attacking two at a time, the warrior to Marv's 3 o'clock and his 9 both rush him, both have big shields and swords.

Marv See's them approach out of the corner of his eye, now snapped out of his daydream by the near miss of the first young gladiator and in full battle mode, he flashes a quick smile and easily blocks the sword coming at his head from the right with his axe, while at the same time smashing the bottom edge of his massive square shield into the face of the man coming in form his left.

The blow almost takes the top half of the mans head off and sends him flying to the hard coliseum earth.

Marv turns his attention back to the man on the right whose dropped his guard after witnessing the ease in which Marv has dispatched his comrade.

Marv See's the opening instantly and fakes overhead blow with his axe, the man quickly raises his shield above his head to block the blow, but Marv rolls his shoulder backwards and sends the colossal weapon flying up underneath the man slicing through his groin and stopping at the top of his ribcage.

A quick kick dislodges the axe from the poor dead gladiators chest right in time to engage the last two warriors left standing, who are now rushing in from the front of him.

One has a spear one has a sword both have shields.

The gladiator with the spear thrusts it at Marv's feet forcing him to block low while the man with the sword swings desperately for Marv's neck.

A thought out attack, but in the carnage that they have witnessed not a very well thought out attack, in their desperate attempt to to stay alive they failed to take into account the fact that Marv's axe is at least a foot longer than the man's sword.

Marv cuts his arm off at the shoulder before the sword can even get to close to his neck, the sword and the arm fly past Marv's face, and with a quick flick of his wrist he sends the gladiator's head flying as well.

Now only one remains.

Marv seeing the last one only has a spear and playing up to the crowd decides to drop his axe and shield taking the last one on with his bare hands.

Its just as easy for this champion of the Colosseum to kill him with his hands as it would be with an axe.

The crowd loves it and send up a massive roar for a man that seems invincible.

As Marv bores down on the man with a huge grin on his face, the gladiator panics and fires a careless thrust at Marv's midsection, Marv grabs the spear and tears it from the mans grasp, still approaching slowly now with an even bigger smile, in his last desperate attempt to stay alive the gladiator hits Marv with his shield.

Marv just laughs and grabs the man by the neck with one hand lifting him easily over his head.

The crowd erupts once more, this time with a chant of...

FINISH HIM... FINISH HIM... FINISH HIM... FINISH HIM

Marv happy to oblige starts tightening his grasp on the mans neck, squeezing until he hears the bones between his monstrous hands snap like a twig, terminating the last of the five men sent to entertain the throngs of Rome by pitting them against a man they had no hope of defeating.

Lost again in the booming noise of the Colosseum Marv thinks to himself

"This was all to easy, those boys should never have been put up against me even if there was five of 'em, when will i ever get the fight Ive been waitin my whole life for, against a real warrior not hordes of these little punks"

Before he can answer his own question the challengers door to the arena opens for the second time.

The sound grabs his attention back to the Colosseum and he realises hes still holding the last dead gladiator above his head, hurling the man to the ground he looks toward the door and See's a gargantuan warrior standing a good head and shoulders over Marv and almost twice as wide.

Marv picks up his axe and shield ready for battle once again, and speaks to himself as the man mountain approaches

"There's no daydreaming this time, no time to make a mistake, this guy's as big as a rhino and that war hammer hes holdin could end me in one blow, you better be worth it big boy gettin me all excited, im ready for a real fight so don't you disappoint"

As the huge Challenger approaches the crowd begins to chant his name again.

MARVIAN... MARVIAN... MARVIAN... MARVIAN.

3 comments:

sukebe69er said...

sounds like your classic tough guy XD, I found the part about "getting his name right" quite amusing.
Overall i thought it was a great insight into the point of view and thoughts of a champion gladiator.. constantly keeping himself in check, talking to himself..
the action scences were well written, you mentioned that it was hard to write action scene, I thought you did a good job..

Darryl said...

i agree with sukebeger69er - good narrative development - I especially like it when the voice of Merv appears which heightens the comic book sense of the narrrative/characterisation (e.g. "There's no daydreaming this time, no time to make a mistake, this guy's as big as a rhino and that war hammer hes holdin could end me in one blow, you better be worth it big boy gettin me all excited, im ready for a real fight so don't you disappoint".

I reckon tho that you could add to the drama by varying the pace of your sentences. A barrage of short sentences (use full stops tho) increase the pace of reading -and thus increase the sense of action - longer descriptive sentences slow the action down. Also I wondered if there could be more blood -while the description of the narrative is excellent and attention holding - what about increasing the description of gore - again to give a reader a sense of the comic book style which is generally quite visual. All just ideas tho.

Tamashi said...

Thats a cool story, I like the way that Marvian finished every rival, specially the last part " Marv happy to oblige starts tightening his grasp on the mans neck, squeezing until he hears the bones between his monstrous hands snap like a twig ", but I think you can make it more blood or cruel, like cut him into half and kick his head away...just an idea tho.Just wondering is this story all about killing people or any romantic drama will come to the end?? I cant wait to read how Marvian going to kill that big rhino boy.